I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” and I’m sure most, if not all of us, have believed that at some point in our lives. I know I have. For years, I harboured the fantasy of having extraordinary wealth, of being richer than my wildest dreams. This was usually acompanied by the wish to be supremely talented and famous. I thought if I had a mansion on a hill, sex on tap, a hugely expensive and flash car and several million pounds in the bank I will not only have found what I was looking for but I would be happy. It is all nonsense!
There’s another adage which states “you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy” and I used to shrug when I’d hear it and think no more of it really. Recently a dear friend of mine (whom I happen to think has a great deal of what’s really important) told me that I was an ‘emotional masochist’. I wasn’t hurt but I baulked at the idea initially.
On reflection however I can see that this was apt, as I do seem happiest if you can call it that, when I’m fighting myself or worrying about some aspect of my being. I then spent ages agonising about how I could shed some of this absolute garbage. I looked online, I racked my brains but all this did was added more to my emotional stew so out of sheer desperation as my head felt like it was going to explode, I stopped thinking. In fact I stopped doing anything whatsoever.
That’s right. I stopped. STOPPED.
In that moment of beingness, the peace that I felt was unreal. My brain had stopped processing all this unnecessary stuff and out of nowhere, birdsong flooded in. To begin with it was deafening. Had they always sung this loud and if so, why the hell hadn’t I heard them before? Had birds just at that moment decided to visit our garden? I highly doubt it. It had to have been my inner turmoil, my brain whirring endlessly which had blocked them out. They’re out there now, singing their pretty little songs and it’s lovely. The peace remains.
So, where am I now? Am I living in the lap of luxury? Well, yes actually I am. Why’s that? Is it because there’s a Lamborghini Diablo sitting on the expansive driveway? Are there a long line of stunners waiting to fulfil my every sexual whim? Are there acres and acres of rolling hills and open countryside just outside my luxurious bay-windowed abode? Am I surveying my latest bank statement from my tax haven in Liechtenstein or someplace similar?
No!
I’m sitting here typing this entry from an ordinary room in an average house in an everyday suburban street. It’s not salubrious by any means if we’re going with the life I have detailed in the opening paragraph but when you think there are people dying left right and centre from hunger every second or so in the third world, people living below the poverty line in the developing world and all the associated miseries which go along with that and people living and dying on streets in the developed world then yes, I do live in luxury and I have everything. Is luxury endless wealth and non-stop sex with the best looking people out there? Well, for some people, maybe. Not for me. Luxury is feeling at peace with myself and by extension, the world at large. This side of the fence is more than enough for me.
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