Madness!

Today I thought I was going mad.  I went along to Google and typed in a regular link and what came back?  A flag below the address which said This Site May Harm Your Computer.  I looked down the page and it said this next to every web address there and on the next page and the next.  I typed in another web address and the same thing happened.

I went to Yahoo (my previous search engine of choice) and that worked fine, so I typed in ‘Google This Site May Harm Your Computer’ which led me to forums which told me this was a well known hacker’s ploy and that from the platform of my computer all sorts of horrors could be perpetrated, such as using my computer to host anything from phishing emails through to credit card users details to the worst kinds of pornography.

I immediately disconnected my computer from the internet before running every precaution I had.  Everything however drew a blank.  I then called a family member who works in the computing field.  He told me to hold tight and he would call me later.  I was beginning to seriously fret because I use this computer daily and need it and what was I going to do without it had it been seriously breached?

I risked coming online to email my editor at Queerlife to say I probably wouldn’t be around for the next little while until this was sorted and then went back to Google to find it was working perfectly.  This made me think, if the precautions (anti-virus, adware, spyware programs) picked up nothing and my computer’s now not seeing this malicious script where it first was then where is it now and what damage might it be doing?

Using Google’s search engine, I typed in ‘Google This Site May Harm Your Computer’ and was literally inundated with stories pertaining to what had occurred today, one of which you can read about HERE.  It seems there has been a massive internal error at Google and people worldwide saw the same message when they went to search for links there.

I had been running a new program when the problem occurred which made me think it was that which had caused the error (maybe there was malware contained within it) and so immediately uninstalled it.  This was at 2.43pm (GMT) and this directly corresponds with the problem first being reported in the US (Eastern Time) at 9.40am.  It seems Google turned in on itself and reported most sites as being potentially dangerous.  As you can imagine, it’s been a strange old day in the Tangled Hierarchy household but a sense of normality has been restored.

Frogs Don’t Always Turn Into Princes

Check out the following story:-

Seven year old Indian girls ‘marry’ frogs

I especially liked this paragraph:-

“Sadly, there was no fairy tale ending as neither frog transformed into a handsome prince. In fact, Vigneswari and Masiakanni weren’t even required to share a kiss with their husbands. Both brides simply bid their grooms farewell before returning to their normal lives. As for the frogs, they were thrown back into temple ponds after the ceremony.”

Isn’t that one of the most bizarre things you’ve ever heard and yet on some level, quite enchanting.  Imagine hundreds of people turning out to witness this celebration.

Words don’t come easy…

Words.  Letters added together to form clumps of meaning.  When I was questioning whether I might be bisexual I found not hostility exactly but noticeable resistance from some people who identified as gay.  Some people since then have quite simply cold-shouldered me (no one in the blogosphere I’m glad to say) and that’s sad.

The sense of polarity is strong with some gays, needing people to be either one thing or another.  Other people I told who I genuinely thought would view me differently, didn’t and that was wonderful.  You know who you are and you’re loved!  I learned a big lesson there because it was me within that who was judgemental, expecting as I was something which simply didn’t happen.

Now I know what I am and am finally making peace with it, I’ve started to get the same reaction from some heterosexuals when I mention the ‘g word’ as I got when I uttered the dreaded word ‘bi’ to some of the gay people I know.  I mean, what is it with that?

I was playing Lexulous (Scrabble) over at Facebook and the person I was playing with was chatting away and she said something along the lines of “and what kind of hobbies do you have?”  I said that I enjoyed writing.  She asked if I had been published and I kinda knew what was coming but I thought what the heck?  “Yes” I said.  “Oh that’s interesting, what kind of publication was it?”  I said “a gay publication.”

All chat ceased in that moment, her status which had been Online seconds earlier changed to Offline.  She hasn’t officially resigned but the game has become Inactive due to her now 2 day absence from playing.  This is the same person I’ve played several times now, who’s sought me out and begun games to which I’ve joined and has never gone more than a few hours without playing and who’s messaged me privately before now to let me know if she’s going to be around or not.

What is she so afraid of though I wonder?  Perhaps she’s religious and believes being gay is sinful.  Perhaps she views homosexuality as disgusting and doesn’t like the idea of two people of the same gender having sex.  She’s perfectly entitled to her views.  I would have preferred her however to say something instead of just disappearing, which I find baffling if I’m honest.

If it had been a guy then I could have understood better because he might have felt a sense of threat but surely not a woman?  The closest pals I’ve had since realising my sexuality have been women, both gay and straight.  I always assumed (wrongly perhaps) that women are a gay man’s number one ally.  Maybe that’s just Hollywood bunkum?  I don’t know.   I just kind of liked spending time with her, chit chatting away and playing Scrabble.  *Sigh*  Oh well….

Happy Birthday Peter

You may be wondering, Peter who? I’m talking of none other than Peter Tatchell, tireless gay and human rights campaigner extraordinaire. It’s his birthday today, I shalln’t say how old though if you’re interested you could always take a sneak peek at his wiki page which can be found here.

I just love the guy.

Some don’t and see him as little more than a self-publicist but more fool them is what I say. The whole purpose of his work is to put himself out there, I mean who else was going to attempt a citizen’s arrest of Robert Mugabe to bring home the horrors being inflicted by this appalling individual? Someone should have forcibly removed this despotic madman years ago. There’s more about the attempted arrest here.

He’s had death threats and even found a live bullet in his flat , it having been pushed through the letterbox. He’s been beaten up numerous times, one of the most recent incidents involved him being punched in the face during pride celebrations in Moscow. That can be viewed here and shows the man about to strike Peter.

Peter’s been asked time and again why he does it and his answer has always been the same, that he doesn’t like to see other people being treated unjustly and that’s what keeps him going or words to that effect. Well, long may he continue is what I say. We need champions of human rights, of gay rights.

Peter’s website can be viewed here. Peter’s also a member of the Green Party and his political page is here.

Happy Birthday Mr Tatchell. Have a good day. Thank you for all that you do. It’s greatly appreciated xxx

Days go by…

Today I went into town to see a friend and we encountered one of the drunkest guys we’ve ever seen.  I don’t know how he was able to stand let alone manage (almost incoherently at times)  to string a sentence together.

He was short and bony thin with a hunchback.  He wore a black bomber jacket and the tattiest filthiest looking jeans.  His shoes were full of holes.  He wore several silver rings.  His fingernails were black and he had no front teeth but what he did have was a plastic set of teeth gripping a small dog’s bone which he put in for comic effect.

He teetered and tottered on his feet and looked at times like he was going to drop dead if I’m honest, such was his frailty.  He waved his fist at the sky at one point and said “God, why have you kept me here for as long as you have?  You bastard!”  It was quite sad really.

He did say one thing though which had it not been for the fact there was a very strong undercurrent of aggression to him, we’d have openly found funny.  He said “in the 60’s I was in a band and played the electric guitar, I was really good and people called me Jimi.”  My pal said “what is your name out of curiosity?”  His response  “Jimmy!”  That tickled us.

When I see/meet people such as this, I wonder what their lives were like and what has led them to here.  At what point did things start to go so wrong for them?  Was this chap ever married?  Did he have a family?  What was his profession?  Where did he come from originally?  All most will see is a very loud sweary tramp-like figure and that’s a shame I feel.

Some people…

I attempted to add this entry last night but WordPress was having none of it.  I’ve recently discovered the joys of playing Lexulous (Scrabble) over at Facebook.  Last night, I felt like a game so looked through for a list of the players waiting to play, clicked one and began the game.  Depressingly for me, it was the one game I was winning reasonably easily.

The person I was playing suddenly says “looking at your stats, up until now you’ve played mainly ladies.  What’s up with that?”  I said “excuse me?  What do you mean?”  he said “well, I tend to play mainly guys because I’m a guy yet you seem to play mainly ladies, what’s up with that?”  I replied that there was nothing ‘up with that’ and what was he implying.  “Nothing” he replied.  “It’s just unusual” he said then added ‘lol.’

He kept using the word ladies and it was him who seemed to have the issues.  There was further banter which had an accusatory tone to it and by then, I’d had enough and so resigned the game thereby losing and blocked him from contacting me in future.  The simple fact is, it’s pot luck who joins me.  Last night was unusual in that I went looking for a game, normally I set up a room and wait for others to join me, thus far they have been mainly women.

What right has someone, who doesn’t know me from Adam, got to presume anything about me let alone something which implies I’m doing anything untoward?  The bastard!  I’m sorry for the language but it really upset me when it happened.  I simply wanted to play a word game, nothing more and nothing less.  I just can’t some fathom people at times.

Domesticitea!!!

I’ve been getting all domestic lately and I’m loving it!!!!  Washing the bath out after I’ve used it, putting the vacuum around, doing the washing (and wiping) up and of course, working our new fangled washing machine has never been so much fun.

I’ve got some clothes spinning as we speak so I’ll have to attend to those shortly.  Okay, done that.  I’m giving them another quick spin to get the excess moisture off.  I’ll put them on a radiator for a couple of hours and they’re pretty much ready to wear.

I do hope that I don’t end up one of those prissy old gay men who has a can of furniture polish in one hand and a duster in the other and who’s fussy about every stray fibre or mote of dust lying about the place.  All I know is Mum hates doing certain jobs and I love them and as I’m unable currently to move out due to finances then I feel it’s my duty to do them.

I’m listening to My Vision by Jakatta, a great song to chill out to and drinking a nice hot cup of tea.  In my opinion, nothing beats a well made cuppa.  Do you know what the weird thing is though?  When I’m out and about I never buy tea, I always opt for a cup of coffee, a cappuccino or a latte while at home, aside from the odd cup of coffee here and there, I nearly always drink tea.  I wonder why that is?  Same with friends, they say that when in town they always opt for a cup of coffee yet given the choice of both beverages at home, they drink tea.

If any of you are tea drinkers, how do you make yours?  I always put the teabag in the cup first with a little sugar if I’m having any then pour the water over the top.  I make sure it’s just off the boil.  I then press the teabag against the side of the cup with a spoon and stir.  I leave it for 3-4 minutes then take the teabag out and add the milk.  Some add the milk while the tea is steeping.  To me, adding the milk to begin with always leave a very watery cuppa.

For many, the only way to make a decent brew is to use real tea leaves and a teapot with a decorative cosy over it.  I did go out and buy various bits so that I could make what many tea aficionados call a ‘proper’ cup but I didn’t really notice too discernible a difference between what I already make in a cup and the tea wasn’t as hot even with the cosy in use.  I think if you’re going to spend much more on leaves then there will be a difference in taste but with Twinings having marketed an everyday brand called funnily enough Twinings Everyday, making a bad cup of tea should be a thing of the past.

Gay Stereotypes

Is it true that lesbians love nothing better than a spot of DIY, attacking walls with spirit levels to affix shelves while espying the latest flat-packed purchase with relish as they set to work with the requisite amount of spanners, drill bits, wrenches and screwdrivers as the lowly gay male can only look on shaking his head in utter disbelief and amazement?

Growing up, I did shirk these types of duties mainly because I was fascinated by how things worked rather than the actual fundamentals of piecing them together. Then I went through a period where I did want to actively get involved but would be held back by others who perhaps could do it better or they might have thought the fact I’d before then not shown an interest was due to the fact I didn’t want to do it.

This is a very gay statement but I have to be honest, a lot of the jobs were messy and I didn’t want them to mar the pristine clothing/hair arrangements I had going on at the time.

I’ve just been helping out a couple of family members with moving some furniture about and loved it. Am I however loving it because I feel guilty for the years I did nothing because I was finicky about my appearance, now I’ve not only lost any sense of fashion style I once had but also because if you shaved off all my hair it wouldn’t look too different to how it does currently?

Am I wishing to help out because I want to assert some kind of masculinity on the proceedings because I’m still fighting on some level the fact I’m gay and simply not interested in doing the rough-and-tumble stuff? Or am I genuinely interested and wishing to get involved?

I do know that screwdrivers hold a fascination for me but is that because a (clean) round-ended screwdriver with a large wodge of Vaseline on it was one of the first decent-sized things I attempted to stick up my arse as a teenager? Who knows.

All I do know is that when I do finally have enough money to get my own place, I’ll invest in some tools and see about putting stuff together and/or repairing what’s already there. That way if it’s not for me, I can always call in a big burly plumber who hopefully has his arse hanging out of his trousers and leans over quite a lot to get to what needs fixing.  Plus, I’ll have the added extra of another talking point when I next hang out with dyke pals.  It’s a win-win situation.

Is this love or confusion?

I came out to my Mum again today, probably the 10th or so time I’ve had to do this.  She seems to think that if I don’t mention it for a while that it’s gone away but it’s never going to go away.

I told her that I’ve put myself through a lot of mental and emotional hoops lately trying to work out what I am when really it’s all pretty clear cut, when all’s said and done.  I do not want to have sex with women, I do want to have sex with men.  It’s men I think about in terms of romance, not women.

She looked as surprised as the very first time I told her which makes me think that there will indeed be an 11th, 12th etc etc time.  What about all of this is she unable to grasp?  Being gay does not mean I want a really good guy friend who I’ll just happen to live with.  It does not mean I hate women.  It does not mean she’s done something wrong re the way I was brought up.

All of this tires me out and means I can’t just get on with things.  Aha, maybe that’s it!  Perhaps she wants me to remain having doubts and continue the internal struggles so I don’t go out there and act on how I’m feeling.  Doh!  It could very well be that couldn’t it?

Bassoon, a flute and euphonium…

I think you’ll all agree, this vid is pure class.

ENJOY!